Structure in chaos

I’m going to try and use this site more as an actual blog. We all need something to read, right?

In the beginning of March, I quit my dayjob. (Rather abruptly, I admit.) I was aching and frustrated, and tired of trying to confirm to yet another office situation. (I’d left my previous job of almost five years late last year for this one, but it wasn’t what I hoped, and I didn’t want to go back to my old job, either.) I’ve spent the month working on freelancing: editing the old Torquere Press books, getting ready to work in voiceover, looking for something part-time that hopefully wouldn’t drain me body and soul like the last job.

Then real life got really, really weird.

To be honest, it hasn’t changed much about my day-to-day life except now I can’t go to a coffee shop or the library to work when I need a change of scenery. Except it kind of was: I was having trouble concentrating, or even focusing on a single project for more than a few minutes. This whirlwind in my mind was getting in the way of my goals. At the same time I felt excited and happy, because finally finally I was following my dreams. (Yes, sometimes I do wonder if I’m manic-depressive rather than just depressive, or if this the way people whose brains work normally feel all the time.)

So yesterday I decided I need to be better aware of how I spend my time, and set up my day to actually get some things accomplished rather than spend three hours watching Youtube and then deciding it was too late in the day to work on anything.

It wasn’t a whole lot yesterday: voiceover in the morning, study a language (I decided to learn Hawaiian for an upcoming story), two hours for a movie, writing time, make my mother a nice dinner. (Grilled cheese with bacon and tomato on sourdough bread, with salad and corn chips. It was a hit.)

Today I began the day with yoga, something I’ve been meaning to get back into for a while, and I feel wonderful: pleasantly stretched, and calmer in my mind. Shower’s been taken, and next is language study time, errand-running (my mother’s 80 and in poor health, so yep), then writing time for a contract job. Then a movie, maybe. Or two hours of Youtube.

Be well out there.

Photo by Startup Stock Photos from Pexels

What I’ve learned this Nanowrimo

This is the fourth time I’ve tried to write a rough draft of Continuo, my cellist/music producer contemporary M/M romance, for Nanowrimo. I wrote a 30-scene outline, one 1666-word scene per day; I did research, I made playlists, I pondered over characters’ names, I thought about themes and hero’s journeys and character arcs.

I love this story. I’m enamored of this story.

I can’t seem to finish this story.

Not in 50,000 words, anyway, and not in 30 days. Every time I go back to this plot it gets bigger: it went from two men meeting in a park to a decades-long romance-turned friendship-turned romance again. I’ve dropped characters and added more, I’ve added locations and events — and I’ve realized something. This story wants to be big.

No, this story wants to be big.

I’m not afraid of big stories, of course; I’ve written my share. With this one, I’ve been thinking a lot about structure, and how not to make it overwhelming, and I think I’ve decided it will be a series of novellas rather than one long novel. (Of course I also often ask myself, Maybe it’s a screenplay..?)

I am planning to write it all before releasing any parts. The influence of the past is very important to Continuo, and I’d like to have the end written before I decide exactly what happened in the beginning.

I’ll try to blog about Continuo during the writing process. We may be in for a long, long tinker before this thing is done.

#preptober number 3: eleven days to go


I’m prepped. I mean, I can’t think of anything else I need to do aside from “start writing.” I’ve made a scene-by-scene outline. I’ve collected my visuals and notes. I’ve made character worksheets and story circles.

I’m ready for it to be November. Only, it’s not November.

I do have another project I need to finish by next week, so that’s something to occupy myself with for a week. But I’m waiting on a few things for that, too, so…

Now we wait. Waitober?